The date itself went great, we both seemed to enjoy it, there was a clear flirtatious atmosphere and just in general it seemed to have that 'first date feeling' one tends to experience in such situations, especially when young. We watched a movie, went for a walk and finally decided to sit down in a random coffee shop. Again, none of this seemed out of the ordinary for a date and honestly still doesn't.
When we were finally done with our coffee and started slowly heading home, I started moving the conversation towards setting up the next date, and to my surprise she literally asked me "Was this a date? This sounds to me like you did not explicitly mention the word ' Date '. If there is a reason why you absolutely could not do that, please tell me and don't read the rest of the answer.
I'm a girl, and bad at taking hints. If some guy asked me to go do something we haven't done before and states that 'It will just be the two of us', I'm not expecting a date. I'm expecting a night out with that friend, trying something new. It might be that he asked other friends that weren't able to come, has only two tickets to the show, or if we haven't been talking much, just wants some time to catch up, with no others present to distract the conversation.
Trying to be 'as clear as you could' involves mentioning the word "date". Make sure you mention the word date when asking somebody to go on a date with you. This makes sure the other person knows what to expect. Adding onto what Tinkeringbell said, some people will assume that if someone of the opposite gender asks them to dinner, or a movie, or coffee, or some other date-like activity, alone, that that implies the activity will be a date.
However, most will not! In my experience, whenever I ask someone out of the same gender, I try to explicitly state that it will be a date, usually by using the word 'date'. There's two ways to do this, either start by asking them out and then include a specific suggestion:. I was thinking we could go to [insert fun thing here]". Or, if you're already friends with them and you'd want to go do the thing anyway, regardless of whether or not it's a date,.
It could be a date! Or not, if you'd rather just go as friends. This can often lead to confusion since you just ask "Hey, want to go do [insert fun thing] with me? So, always clarify, and good luck! All the answers thus far seem to focus on verbal communication , which is a terribly blunt instrument when it comes to actually seeming human in your interactions.
I'd strongly advise against trying to sneak the word "date" into your ask, and instead offer some different advice. A fundamental difference between how men and women tend to communicate, whether cultural, biological or both, is that men tend to think of context as rather concrete, and don't see much difference between context that's explicitly mentioned and context that isn't. Women, on the other hand, tend to recognize that the very act of saying can change context. In other words, to a man, a fact is a fact, and saying it does little to change that, while to a woman, sometimes there are facts that could go either of a few different ways, and as long as the fact isn't mentioned , that flexibility remains.
Why is this relevant? Because an easy option for women who aren't quite sure whether or not they want to date you is to go out for something that could be a date, and then if it goes well they let it be a date, and if it doesn't then they have the option to act surprised like it was never a date. Leaving the word "date" out of it takes the pressure off, and also makes it much easier for the woman to say yes.
But how do you actually establish it as a date?
Treat it like a date. Flirt, include some physical contact if she's receptive and obviously not if she seems uncomfortable , kiss if a moment presents itself. By the end of a well-conducted date, it should be obvious to both of you that it was a date, while leaving her the flexibility to treat it like it wasn't if it goes really badly and she needs an out. Of course, saying the word "date", along with certain nonverbal actions like kissing, are strong enough statements that they force her to make a decision and either accept it as a date or not.
It's confusing, sure, but is among the most intuitive and naturally comfortable ways to do things. Personally, I ask women " out to [insert activity here]", where including the word "out" makes it fairly obvious to her that I mean a date, while leaving her the escape route of being able to say she didn't realize it was going to be a date later, if need be. Ask however you'd like to ask. This answer started as a response to this comment, but I realized it does in fact address the question:. The more I go out one-on-one with a person, the more I assume that we are 'just friends' if nobody ever mentions the word 'date'.
Even if this involves a guy that I learned to know from doing 'group stuff'. I've been married to my best friend for 7 years. What actually came to light finally was that we were both very interested in the other, but both preferred to maintain our very warm friendship rather than risk total rejection So from my perspective, being overly specific about what is and is not "dating" is entirely detrimental.
Just get to know the person better. Spend more time with them. Do things together that you like to do together, preferably real "together" activities that involve time to talk to each other openly. Why do you need to avoid it? If she is not ready to date do you want to not see her? It was not a wasted evening just because she did not know it was not a date. It was cleared up by the end of the date. I have left it vague before hoping the girl would develop feelings.
By the time you have 3 one on ones when in the past it was group stuff she should figure it out. It depends how she asked it.
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If she sounded excited or happy, great. From here, I'll assume that this was the case. Overall, I get the impression that both of you enjoyed the date. Therefore, I would see the question "Was this a date? And there might also be a too-good-to-be-true feeling at work at her side, and now she wants to know where you want to lead this. Next time this happens answer it with an affirmative, but friendly, "Yes, this was a date". It might not be easy, but it is important to not come over as hurt or pissed.
After all, the two of you just had a great time. Regardless of how she reacts, there will be clarity afterwards. If she agrees to let things proceed from there, great. If not, cut your losses, keep your head up and straight, and move on. After all, you just proved you are confident enough to clearly state your intentions to a girl instead of keeping them behind your back.
To put it into another perspective: If you say "No, this was not a date", then there will be for sure no further date with that girl before the Big Rip happens. But if you say "Yes, this was a date", in a friendly and confident way, then you open up to her and give her the chance to agree and let things progress. No, you couldn't avoid that surprise. If she accepts, that's good enough, just make sure to move forward.
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Gender-Guessing Myths and Facts. Triangle Places for Family Fun in Winter. Taming Thumbsucking in an Older Child. Volunteer and Community Service Opportunities in the Triangle. One trend is towards exclusive matchmaking events for the 'rich and powerful'; for example, an annual June event in Wuhan with expensive entry-ticket prices for men 99, RMB lets financially secure men choose so-called bikini brides based on their beauty and education ,  and the financial exclusivity of the event was criticized by the official news outlet China Daily.
A brave lover in Beijing must be prepared to accept a paradigm shift to enjoy the cross-cultural dating experience. Relationships between students preparing for college are frowned upon by many parents in China. There was a report that sexual relations among middle schoolers in Guangzhou sometimes resulted in abortions. Indian dating is heavily influenced by the custom of arranged marriages which require little dating, although there are strong indications that the institution is undergoing change, and that love marriages are becoming more accepted as India becomes more intertwined with the rest of the world.
In the cities at least, it is becoming more accepted for two people to meet and try to find if there is compatibility. The majority of Indian marriages are arranged by parents and relatives, and one estimate is that 7 of every 10 marriages are arranged. Writer Lavina Melwani described a happy marriage which had been arranged by the bride's father, and noted that during the engagement, the woman was allowed to go out with him before they were married on only one occasion; the couple married and found happiness.
Until recently, Indian marriages had all the trappings of a business transaction involving two deal-making families, a hardboiled matchmaker and a vocal board of shareholders — concerned uncles and aunts. The couple was almost incidental to the deal. They just dressed and showed up for the wedding ceremony. And after that the onus was on them to adjust to the 1, relatives, get to know each other and make the marriage work. Relationships in which dating is undertaken by two people, who choose their dates without parental involvement and sometimes carry on clandestine get-togethers, has become increasingly common.
When this leads to a wedding, the resulting unions are sometimes called love marriages. There are increasing instances when couples initiate contact on their own, particularly if they live in a foreign country; in one case, a couple met surreptitiously over a game of cards.
Dating websites are gaining ground in India. Writer Rupa Dev preferred websites which emphasized authenticity and screened people before entering their names into their databases, making it a safer environment overall, so that site users can have greater trust that it is safe to date others on the site.
During the interval before marriage, whether it is an arranged or a love marriage, private detectives have been hired to check up on a prospective bride or groom, or to verify claims about a potential spouse made in newspaper advertising, and there are reports that such snooping is increasing. Transsexuals and eunuchs have begun using Internet dating in some states in India.
The practice of dating runs against some religious traditions, and the radical Hindu group Sri Ram Sena threatened to "force unwed couples" to marry, if they were discovered dating on Valentine's Day ; a fundamentalist leader said "drinking and dancing in bars and celebrating this day has nothing to do with Hindu traditions. Another group, Akhil Bharatiya Hindu Mahasabha , threatened to do the same, for which it was severely mocked online  and on the day after Valentine's Day , had protesters outside its Delhi headquarters, with people mockingly complaining that it did not fulfill its "promise",  with some having come with materials for the wedding rituals.
There is a type of courtship called Omiai in which parents hire a matchmaker to give resumes and pictures to potential mates for their approval, leading to a formal meeting with parents and matchmaker attending. The reasons for dating in Korea are various. Research conducted by Saegye Daily showed that teenagers choose to date for reasons such as "to become more mature," "to gain consultation on worries, or troubles," or "to learn the difference between boys and girls," etc.
Present Korean dating shows a changing attitude due to the influence of tradition and modernization. There are a lot of Confucian ideas and practices that still saturate South Korean culture and daily life as traditional values. It is one of the old teachings of Confucianism  and reveals its inclination toward conservatism. Most Koreans tend to regard dating as a precursor to marriage. According to a survey conducted by Gyeonggi-do Family Women's Researcher on people of age , There is no dating agency but the market for marriage agencies are growing continuously.
Also, "Mat-sun", the blind date which is usually based on the premise of marriage, is held often among ages of late 20s to 30s.
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However, the majority still takes getting into a relationship seriously. Dating in Korea is also considered a necessary activity supported by society.
What is the difference between dating and outing. Difference between dating and going out
College students in their sophomore to junior year who have not been in a relationship feel anxious that they are falling behind amongst their peers. Most of them try "sogaeting", going out on a blind date, for the first time to get into a relationship. Dating is a duty that most people feel they must take on to not seem incompetent. Where Are We Going? Dating has also been depicted to be an activity of fun and happiness. According to a survey by wedding consulting agency, men consider a physical relation as a catalyst of love, otherwise, women regard it as a confirmation of affection.
Adding to it, both Marriages and courtship in Pakistan are influenced by traditional cultural practices similar to those elsewhere in the Indian subcontinent as well as Muslim norms and manners. Illegitimate relationships before marriage are considered a social taboo and social interaction between unmarried men and women is encouraged at a modest and healthy level. Couples are usually wedded through either an arranged marriage or love marriage.
Love marriages are those in which the individuals have chosen a partner whom they like by their own choice prior to marriage, and usually occur with the consent of parents and family. Arranged marriages on the other hand are marriages which are set and agreed by the families or guardians of the two individuals where the couple may not have met before.
In either cases and in consistency with traditional marital practices, individuals who marry are persuaded to meet and talk to each other for some time before considering marrying so that they can check their compatibility. The original SDU, which controversially promoted marriages among university graduate singles, no longer exists today. On 28 January , it was merged with SDS [Social Development Services], which just as controversially promoted marriages among non-graduate singles. The merged unit, SDN Social Development Network seeks to promote meaningful relationships, with marriage touted as a top life goal, among all resident [Singapore] singles within a conducive network environment of singles, relevant commercial and public entities.
One report suggested that in southern Taiwan , "traditional rules of courtship" still apply despite the influence of popular culture ; for example, men continue to take the initiative in forming relationships. What caused relationships to break up? In Britain, the term dating bears similarity to the American sense of the tentative exploratory part of a relationship.
If two people are going out together , it may mean they're dating but that their relationship has advanced to a relatively long-standing and sexual boyfriend-girlfriend relationship although they're not cohabiting. Although Britons are familiar with the term dating, the rituals surrounding courtship are somewhat different from those commonly found in North America. Writer Kira Cochrane advises daters to "get out there and meet people" while noting a trend of temporary suspension of marriage until an individual reaches his or her thirties.
She felt "clueless and unwanted", she wrote, and found advice books such as The Rules helpful. Online dating safety in the UK is a concern for authorities and individuals. While analysts such as Harald Martenstein and others suggest that it is easier for persons to initiate contact in America, many Germans view the American dating habits as "unspontaneous", "ridiculous" and "rigid".
6 Crucial Differences Between Hanging Out And Dating
Membership in voluntary associations is relatively high in German-speaking countries and these provided further chances for possible partners to meet. Strolling on Esplanades and Promenade walkways such as the one in Hamburg called the Jungfernstieg maidens way , have been another venue for introductions as early as the 19th century.
Analyst Geoffrey Gorer described dating as an American idiosyncrasy focusing on youth of college age and expressed in activities such as American proms. In contrast German speaking countries and the longstanding musical tradition there provided ample opportunity of persons of varying ages enjoying social dances, such as the Vienna Opera Ball and other occasions.
The German term of Stelldichein as translated by Joachim Heinrich Campes is used to signify dating when the age of consent to marriage was relatively high. German traditions to signify lovers who met in hiding were described with terms like Fensterln windowing or Kiltgang dawn stroll used in Bavaria and Switzerland. Today, most German couples in long-term relationships get to know each other through mutual friends, at work or while going out at night; the first few months of dating often involve sexual intercourse, but are still rather casual and do not imply a serious wish to get married.
Italians maintain a conservative approach to dating. Also, inviting friends or relatives during a date is not uncommon. More modern approaches such as blind dates, speed dating and dating websites are not as popular as abroad, and are not considered very effective by the majority of the population. However, social network members outnumber the European average,  and they may use Facebook for dating purposes too. One report suggested Spanish women were the "greatest flirts", based on an unofficial study by a dating website which ranked countries based on initiations of contact.
In North Africa like in many parts of the Middle East, sex without marriage is considered unacceptable. Dating in North Africa is predominantly done under family supervision, usually in a public place. People of different sexes are not allowed to "mix freely" in public. Clerics run officially sanctioned internet dating agencies with strict rules. In Israel, in the secular community, dating is very common amongst both heterosexual and homosexual couples. However, because of the religious community, there are some religious exceptions to the dating process.
In the Haredi and Chasidic communities Ultra-Orthodox Judaism most couples are paired through a matchmaker. In this arranged marriage system, young adults meet a couple times under the supervision of their parents, and after they meet, the two are asked whether they will agree to be married. Furthermore, in terms of marriage , because the state religion is essentially Orthodox-Judaism, Conservative and Reform Liberal denominations of Judaism Jews cannot get married through a Conservative or Reform Rabbi without the approval of the State's Orthodox Head Rabbi.
There are similar problems in Israel for people of different denominations of other religions as well. Essentially, if you live in Israel, and the head of your religion doesn't want you to get married, you can't get religiously married. Because people of two different religions or people of the same sex cannot get married in Israel, people in these situations oftentimes have to go overseas to get married since Israel does recognize overseas marriages. One report suggests the Lebanese dating game is hampered by "the weight of family demands upon individual choice" and that there were difficulties, particularly for people seeking to marry across religious lines, such as a Christian seeking to marry a Muslim.
The Saudi Gazette quoted a Wikipedia article on domestic violence , suggesting it was an issue for Saudis, including abusive behavior while dating by one or both partners. One report suggested the United States as well as other western-oriented countries were different from the rest of the world because "love is the reason for mating," as opposed to marriages being arranged to cement economic and class ties between families and promote political stability.
British writer Kira Cochrane, after moving to the U. By waiting and waiting and waiting to commit to someone, our capacity for love shrinks and withers. This doesn't mean that women or men should marry the first reasonable person to come along, or someone with whom they are not in love. But we should, at a much earlier age than we do now, take a serious attitude toward dating and begin preparing ourselves to settle down.
For it's in the act of taking up the roles we've been taught to avoid or postpone——wife, husband, mother, father——that we build our identities, expand our lives, and achieve the fullness of character we desire. Journalist Emily Witt in wrote that while "social mores had changed to accept a wider range of sexual practices", there was still much "loneliness and anxiety".
6 Crucial Differences Between Hanging Out And Dating | Thought Catalog
There is evidence that couples differ in the pace and timing with which they initiate sex in their relationships. Teenagers and college-aged students tend to avoid the more formal activity of dating, and prefer casual no-strings-attached experiments sometimes described as hookups. It permits young women to "go out and fit into the social scene, get attention from young men, and learn about sexuality", according to one report by sociologists.
Muslims living in the United States can choose whether to use traditional Islamic methods, or date American-style; Muslims choosing to stick to Islamic tradition can "only marry another Muslim", according to one Malaysian account. Mosques have been known to try to bring people together——one in California has a dating service for Muslims. In Australia, men typically ask out women for dates by text messaging.
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In Brazil there is a longer time interval before children move out of the house, which affects dating. A report in Psychology Today found that homosexual men were attracted to men in their late teens and early twenties and did not care much about the status of a prospective partner; rather, physical attractiveness was the key.
In India , transgender individuals and eunuchs have used Internet dating to help them find partners, but there continue to be strong societal pressures which marginalize these groups. People can meet other people on their own or the get-together can be arranged by someone else. Matchmaking is an art based entirely on hunches, since it is impossible to predict with certainty whether two people will like each other or not. Friends remain an extremely common way for people to meet  However, the Internet promises to overtake friends in the future, if present trends continue.
In The Guardian , British writer Hannah Pool was cynical about being set up on a blind date; she was told "basically he's you but in a male form" by the mutual friend. Parents, via their contacts with associates or neighbors or friends, can introduce their children to each other.
In India , parents often place matrimonial ads in newspapers or online, and may post the resumes of the prospective bride or groom. Dating systems can be systematic and organized ways to improve matchmaking by using rules or technology. The meeting can be in-person or live as well as separated by time or space such as by telephone or email or chat-based.
The purpose of the meeting is for the two persons to decide whether to go on a date in the future. Speed dating is a fast and comfortable way to meet people. It helps enlarge my social contacts. I don't care if I can't find a girlfriend there. I just want to try my luck, and if she is there, then that will be a big bonus. Very attractive translates as big-headed Average build means a bit paunchy The picture is always taken from the best, most flattering angle Black and white photos mean I am pretentious or I've something to hide Anyone who writes in text speak or says I heart instead of I like should be avoided Ditto for people whose interests include feet.
The deception got worse. When he met his date who he had befriended online who he dubbed Facebook Guy for the first time, he wrote:. Facebook guy arrived on time. Facially, he looked the same as his picture. And his arms were as "worked out" as he promised. But he was lacking in the leg department. Facebook Guy had failed to mention that he had no legs.
Computer dating systems of the later 20th century, especially popular in the s and s, before the rise of sophisticated phone and computer systems, gave customers forms that they filled out with important tolerances and preferences, which were "matched by computer" to determine "compatibility" of the two customers. The history of dating systems is closely tied to the history of technologies that support them, although a statistics-based dating service that used data from forms filled out by customers opened in Newark, New Jersey in Patterson's business model was not fully legal, however.
He was charged with fraud on several occasions for selling lists of the women who signed up for his service to men who were looking for prostitutes. Online dating services are becoming increasingly prevalent worldwide. They charge a fee to enable a user to post a profile of himself or herself, perhaps using video or still images as well as descriptive data and personal preferences for dating, such as age range, hobbies, and so forth.
However new entrants continue to emerge. An earlier report suggested that online dating businesses were thriving financially, with growth in members, service offerings, membership fees and with many users renewing their accounts, although the overall share of Internet traffic using online dating services in the U. Pew Research , based on a survey of 3, adults, estimated that three million Americans had entered into long-term relationships or marriage as a result of meeting on a dating web site.
Internet "QQ" chat rooms. This type of dating approach, cheaper than traditional websites and agencies, is gaining ground in China. Mystery Date is a board game from the Milton Bradley Company , originally released in and reissued in , , and in , whose object is to be ready for a date by acquiring three matching color-coded cards to assemble an outfit.
The outfit must then match the outfit of the date at the "mystery door". If the player's outfit does not match the date behind the door, the door is closed and play continues. The game has been mentioned, featured, or parodied in several popular films and television shows. Numerous television reality and game shows , past and current, address dating.